I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
