OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
