we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
