Please, let me fuck your mom
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize