i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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