There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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