I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
