we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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