if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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