eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
