Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
