scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
