I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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