Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
