I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
