Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
