32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
