Is it normal to miss your booty call?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
