Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a hot homeless man
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
