I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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