I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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