i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
