his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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