8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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