I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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