Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
