okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
