The maid of honor just puked.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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