we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
