May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
