i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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