He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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