I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize