dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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