I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
