When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
