Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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