I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
