drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
