Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
