There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you made out with another girl for some wings
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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