This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
