so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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