So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
