i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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