I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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