Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
