wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I've blown a few things in my day
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
