Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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