Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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