i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dick very happy bro
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize