no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
