He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
