well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
