hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize