i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize