yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
