Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
