So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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