dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
